rayofmemory's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ::when aspirin doesn't cure the heahache:: Song of the Moment: "Bodily" ~ Ani Difranco. I hate feeling this way. Like I don't have any control over anything. I'm stalling. Majorly. Just sitting here in the computer screen light hoping that nothing comes back to bite me in the ass. I had a pretty short fuse today and I hate snapping at people. I got in petty arguments that weren't really necessary...but seemed pretty necessary at the time. I hate being left with this empty feeling. I hate having all these unanswered questions- all these questions that have no answers. I feel like I'm getting no where. A hamster running in a wheel. I'm get tired of my own self. I don't want to deal with myself. I'd rather wrap myself in someone else. I hate facing my own problems. Walking away is something I've perfected. That and digging myself into holes. I hate being called out on something I said before. I've changed my mind. I'm having a hard time dealing with my problems...which have seemed to intensify because of the circumstances. No one's fault but my own. I wake up every morning not being able to face the person in the mirror and expect others to. I feel awful. I feel awful for giving advice that I myself, cannot take. I feel terrible. I punish myself to no end. 9:23 p.m. - 05.06.04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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