rayofmemory's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ::someone save me:: Loneliness. Seems to be the human condition. I'm warn out. Physically, emotionally and mentally. I don't want to move a muscle tomorrow. I've just been on a roll with keeping myself busy that I haven't noticed how little sleep I'm getting. As well as food. Just go go go. I'd rather be running than thinking. Thinking gets me no where fast. All thinking gets me is crying myself to sleep. And who wants a soggy pillow all the time? I checked out a ton of books at the library to keep myself busy tomorrow while I'm half listening to family conversations. We're celebrating my brother's and uncle's birthdays and then my parents aniversery. But we are going down state to my grandmother's house to do it. This means I can't run away, or hide in my sanctuary (my room). I'm stuck. For hours with these people. I wish there was some way I could get out of it. If there was, I would. But I don't think my mother would let me. She has that If-I-have-to-suffer-so-do-you-damnit attitude lately. I wish I had a cell phone. I would just stay on the phone with friends all day until we went home. That would be nice. Maybe I would actually be able to breathe and let my guard down every once in a while. 1:01 a.m. - 2003-07-26 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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