rayofmemory's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ::It's all too Familiar:: Song of the Moment: "Trying" by Lifehouse. It sucks having the flu, it really does. It was a long, painful Monday. For the past couple of days it's seemed like people were hearing what I was saying, but they weren't really listening. People stared and smiled while all I could hear was screaming inside. That's all Monday was. Screaming, yelling and crying. I sat in the living room after an argument with my mother. I had been waiting for my brother to get off the phone all day and when he did I called a lifeline. As soon as the person picked up on the other line, mother snatched the phone from me. The story of my life. I'm always reaching and someone is always standing in my way. At least, that's how it's been for the last couple of days. I sat in the living room staring at the front door. "What if I just walked out the door and kept walking until my legs wore out. Fell down and froze to death. How long would it take anyone to notice I was gone?" This layout fits me more than I'd like to admit. I think I don't want to admit it because of the pink. Or rather parts of that song fit me. I'm wearing myself down going through this cycle all the time. But it's not easy to break free. I'm so exhausted. I believe it was Dianne who once said, "I'm sick of God's charade." So am I. 9:46 a.m. - 2003-02-18 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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