rayofmemory's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ::misery is my best and worst friend:: I'm so frustrated I could scream (I feel so guilty). I'm such a ball of nerves that when I crash and burn, I crash and burn. I won't scream though...I don't have the strength. Instead I'm going to cry for hours on end until I fall asleep for the third night in a row. I'm going to get up in the morning and go through the motions. I'm going to shift through my day as painful as it may get. I'm going to get anxiety attacks and get anxious to the point of exhaustion. Why? Who knows. It's just been happening a lot lately. I'm going to plaster on my fake smile and deal with all the shit again. I'm going to hold back the truth because I know you can't help me. You can't comfort me. I am misery. I will come home from school and go through more motions of homework and phone calls. Then at night, when the hot tears are streaming down my face, soaking my pillows and leaving a tissue avalanche carpeting my floor...I'll wonder why it was I woke up in the morning in the first place. 8:28 p.m. - 11.11.03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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