rayofmemory's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ::he better sleep with one eye opened tonight:: Song of the Moment: "Keep On Singing My Song" by Christina Aguilera. I hate my father, but I love the bastard too. I'm torn. Melissa was right in a sense...it's nice to know that in a year and a half we can be out of the house. Half of that is comforting thought. I can't get away from father, but I don't want to leave mother. *Sigh* They came home from the doctors office. Father had to go get some x-rays and then has to go in tomorrow for more tests. He has heart and back problems. And probably something wrong with his lungs since he's been somking since forever. Mother and father came home bitching and father said something rather insulting to me. I told him I did not appreciate what he said(not that nicely though�but I think I reacted well.) He said some sexist remark...because he was talking with one of the boys and I asked a question. I don't even remember what it was. All I remember was him saying something, I said something back, walked in my room, slammed the door, blasted Marilyn Manson and fell asleep until dinner. Came out of my room at dinner time and he told me I better drop the attitude because he isn't putting up with my shit. This was a mild incident compared to others. Like when my father implies that I am a stupid bitch, or just straight up says that, or when he makes a sexist remark�this is when I will a) Kick ass, literally b) Try and resolve things in a nice manner c) Kick ass again, literally. And then use the silent treatment. Those are the extent of my options when it comes to my father, because if I try anything else it doesn't work. I really don't kick his ass though, maybe with words but not actual violence, I don't want to be grounded for life. lol. I don't think I've ever been violent with my parents, or any other adult family member for that matter. Can't say the same for my brothers though. I've kicked their asses many times. Some people deserve a good ass(hee-haw) kicking. Yeap. I hate him, and love him. Can't stand him usually, since we push each others buttons. But when I think of the idea of him not being around much longer...my eyes can't help but fill with tears. I knew I should of went over to someones house today. I shouldn't of stayed at home. 10:09 p.m. - 2003-02-10 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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