rayofmemory's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ::fuck it all:: Ray Note: I got rid of my guestbook and notes because I don't want comments anymore. I don't want to keep checking to see someone's opinions on my feelings. You really need to tell me something, email, call or come over. Sorry for sounding like a bitch, but it's how I feel. Lately I've just been feeling the sudden urge to scream fuck you in a lot of different faces. I just want to smack some people right across the face. Or walk away. That's been a pretty strong feeling lately when confronted with an issue that I cannot handle that just pisses me off to no end. I have this sudden impulse to walk away, stop talking, hang up or ignore people. I'm sorry, but that's how I feel. I've been so on edge, so frustrated, so stressed that I can't fucking think straight. Nothing I ever do is right, so you know what? FUCK IT ALL. I give up! Don't ask for my opinion if you don't want my reaction. Period. Yeah, I would appreciate if you would let me in your life a little, but if you're going to knock me for how I react or how I feel, then don't bother. I don't think I can handle much more. I'm ready to snap. I wouldn't even consider it snapping. I think mental breakdown is closer to what I feel I'm on the brink of. But you know what? FUCK IT ALL. No one gives a damn, no one did, and no one will. FUCK IT ALL. I'm just going to continue doing what I'm doing because I don't know what else to do. I have no fucking direction. I'm lost. But you what, who cares? Nobody. No one but me cares about me. I've known this all along. I just thought that there might be some remote chance that someone would care. Nope. I don't know what the hell I was thinking. I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore. I'm so mad about a million things. So depressed about a million things. So confused about a million things. All I know it I'm just so angry with myself more than anyone else right now. Ugh. 9:01 p.m. - 12.02.03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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