rayofmemory's Diaryland Diary

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::FUCK::

That's it. This is my limit. I'm crawling out of my skin. My leg is doing that I-can't-stop-moving-up-and-down-at-a-rapid-pace-twichy-thing. I keep forgetting to breathe. My head aches. Unstable. Tears. Images. Thoughts. Emotions. I can't handle it. It's one in the morning and I can't scream. I can't pick up the phone and dial a number. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. I should rot in hell.

I always thought that everyone thinks I'm the bad guy, but I'm really the good guy. What happens when you find out, you really are the bad guy?

Breathe. In and out. In and out. In and out. (My breathing oxygen supporter is not online anymore. Thanks for helping girl.)

I'm going to miss you Beth, but you gotta do what you gotta do. (Trying to occupy my mind with things other than what's making me twitchy.)

I keep thinking the worst. I'm over-reacting. I don't know why I'm over-reacting. In the morning I'm going to feel really stupid for these entries. I'm going to laugh at my silly behaviour. I will.

I'm slowly going insane.

1:08 a.m. - 2003-07-10

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