rayofmemory's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ::in the moment reaction:: Do you ever get the feeling that you did the wrong thing, said the wrong thing? Not that there really was a right and wrong about it, you just reacted. Sometimes I feel I can't do that anymore. I can't react in a negative way for fear of the damage I might do. I have to be careful because if I'm not, something drastic might happen. Should I feel guilty for my reactions? My in the moment reactions? Or should they be excused for what they were? Should I be up all night, like I will be tonight, worrying because my reaction was not in the best interest of the person I was reacting to? What if it's nothing? What if I sit here and ponder and worry all night about saying the wrong thing, only to wake up tomorrow and see that everything is ok? That would be a good thing. But then, what if I'm sitting in front of this computer screen, writing this entry, and everything on the other end is not ok? What if what I fear is happening, is in fact happening? What if I'm crying for all the right reasons? 10:30 p.m. - 2003-07-09 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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