rayofmemory's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ::hurt:: Lately I've been craving self destruction. My erratic behaviour seems to be getting worse. I have this unnatural wanting to push metal into my skin, drink a bottle of vodka, smoke an entire pack of cigarettes in five minutes or overdose on aspirin. I secretly fantasize about some random guy fucking me because I want to feel the pain. I want the pain to be physical so it's right on the surface amd not all in my head where it slowly seems to be killing me. 11:34 p.m. - 05.21.04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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