rayofmemory's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ::how high up do I have to be to jump and crack my skull open:: To Whom It May Concern, Suffocate. Hopeless. Disposable. Drown. Bleed. Fall. Regret. Cut. Worthless. Vague. Death. You say you care, but you don't. You say you're listening, but you're not. Everything is such a hypocrisy. Trust. Lies. Betrayal. Screaming. Depression. Manipulation. Guilt. Unloving. Uncaring. Death. I'm not alone, but I am. I feel so much for everyone else, but not my self. I love others, but am incapable of loving me. I used to believe words were sincere, but now I trust no one. I attach myself and then let go. I will push you away because I don't trust you. You are blind. Confusion. Assumption. Shun. Threat. Intimidate. Sugar-coat. Clich�. Underlying. Death. A double-edged sword. So many things seem. I'm at a loss for words for you and myself. Not because I don't care, but because I can't help myself. How can I help you? Tears. Choke. Sadness. Na�ve. Help. Defeated. Bottom. Death. You don't believe me. I don't believe you, in so many ways. So prove me wrong. Deaf. Forever. Break. Real. Mind. Games. Death I'm holding it in because I don't know how to express to you the immensity of sadness I feel. And would you do the same for me? Would lie before my eyes, bare and broken. I don't believe you. Deception. Numb. Slipping. Cold. Bare. Death. I'm exhausted. I'm drained. I'm repeating. But you still ask, what? Wake. Darkness. Eyes. Shatter. Death. This reminds me of lyrics. "My Immortal" by Evanescence. "These wounds won't seem to heal. This pain is just too real. There's just too much that time cannot erase." How true these words are. They make me cry. Undone. Save. Nothing. Death. I am so tired. Sin. Fool. Death. Are you listening yet. Because I am nothing but Metaphor. Nothing but Vague. Because I don't trust. Because I can't express. Because I am so much like you, and yet so different. Please just love me. Because I can't. Life. Death. I am Death. 10:53 p.m. - 2003-04-08 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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