rayofmemory's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ::one saturday morning:: (i actaully typed this up saturday...hence the title...but i couldn't find time to post it. forgive me?) The matter is never taken seriously. The matter of my brother that is. It usually happens over little stuff. He says one thing then plays a mind game saying that he didn't say anything�ends up hitting, slapping, smacking, punching, kicking�or threatening to kill someone�then its usually him and me and end up in a huge argument. He yells something at me�I yell at him�he does something to piss me off more�I start swearing�he says something hypocritical�which pisses me off even more�that�s usually the point when I start swearing�A LOT. Unless Paul's around. And usually around the climax of the argument he threatens to kill me. and I say something like 'I dare you'. Stupid brother/sister type bullshit right? Well, it doesn't feel that way when after I reply to 'I'm gonna kill you' I feel the need to walk backwards into my room in case he comes after me. I don't like to fight�I don't want to fight�in fact I find verbal fighting way more appealing than physical fighting. My brother is like my worst enemy. It's like living under the same roof as my mortal enemy. And it sucks ass. He's one of those people where within ten seconds of meeting you the kid knows exactly what to say to piss you off�imaging living with someone like that for 14 years. I'm not saying that I'm innocent�I can't say that I've never physically hurt anyone�god knows I kicked that kid so many times where it counts he prolly can't have kids. I'd miss the kid if he died�I really would. The sad part is�I think that somewhere�.deep down�almost so I couldn't find it�I would be relieved that I wouldn't have to worry about what new bullshit was gonna be played next. As I said before�I don't like to fight�I find no reason to physically fight�but then again I don't really believe that everything can be fixed with an adult like confrontation. Since, really, most adults I know fight more than I do. Sometimes I walk away. Most of the time I challenge you to a verbal fight and swear like crazy. Swearing, I love it to death. It lets me get my anger out. I would rather much say fuck ten times than punch you in the face. That's just who I am. I also believe you can get through to someone more with words when fighting than with actions. (and damage a person more with words J) Totally. I don't like to fight�if you piss me off, I'll let you know�with words. Wow�this entry sucks. lol. sorrie�I just needed to vent a little bit. I think the two things that piss me off most about my brother is: 1) he doesn't know when to stop and 2) the kid knows what he's doing is wrong. 6:58 p.m. - 2002-03-17 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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