rayofmemory's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ::Dear Mom's Mother:: For The Sacred June prompt: Dear Mom�s Mother, I woke up at nine in the morning and joined my mother in the screened in porch while she smoked her morning cigarette and took frantic sips from her coffee mug before it got cold. On mornings where I wake up early and keep her company we usually have a pretty in-depth conversation. Saturday�s morning discussion revolved around you and now I wish it hadn�t, not because it was a bad conversation, but because you weren�t worth the time. I knew that my mother didn�t have a very good childhood or very good adolescent years and I knew before that you had something to do with that, but I didn�t know to what extent until Saturday morning. I knew from my own experiences talking with you that you had the ability to say terribly mean things to me with a smile planted on your face. I knew that at every family get together you could cut the tension between my father and you with a knife. But I didn�t know what you had been totally capable of until Saturday morning. Did you know that your daughter now has no intention of calling you? Did you know that you finally pushed your daughter completely away? Did you know that your daughter wants to sever all ties with you and has no problem never seeing you again? Did you know that I won�t stop her if she decides to do that? I would rather us never see you again than give you the chance to do more damage to my family or me. Some of the things you did were horrendous and inhuman. Some of things I can understand but don�t agree with. But other things I just don�t understand how a human being could do to another, especially when that person was your own daughter. I don�t think I could ever forgive you just like your own daughter can�t bring herself to. What you�ve done is unforgivable. If my mother does decide to cut all ties from you, if she does decide to have you take her off everything, I don�t think in my heart I will truly miss you. I think I will miss the idea of having a grandmother. I will miss the chance to have had one on my mother�s side. You�ve been more of an enemy my whole life, someone to steer clear of. And I know I must seem cruel for saying and thinking these things, but I think if others knew you, they�d understand that I am not in the wrong. I will miss the idea of maybe having a grandmother on my mother�s side that loved me for who I was, someone who truly loved me unconditionally. I will miss the idea of you but nothing more.
Your granddaughter, 12:58 a.m. - 06.28.04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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