rayofmemory's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ::easy to walk away:: I have no direction. There is a scholarship application sitting next to my stereo and a letter from my college saying that I need to set up an appointment for orientation. I have to get my driving hours in so I can take my drivers test. I probably should start looking around for a job. Instead, here I am, listening to my stereo and daydreaming. Here I am, in the blue computer screen light. Here I am, with my nose in a book while a stack as tall as my father rests on the slowly graying blue carpet at the head of my bed. Here I am, waking up each morning hoping, wishing, praying that all my problems have magically disappeared. Here I am, with no direction. In ways, it's easy to walk away because no one is kicking my ass. I have to kick my own. My mother isn't going to help me anymore. My life is my responsibility. Well shit, I've never taken responsibility for anything in my life, why start now? Most of the time I'm not paying attention to the road I am walking down. I just keep walking until I run into something. I feel like I'm in the middle of the woods and my compass is broken. 7:31 p.m. - 05.18.04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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